Technology in a genteel world

Last Updated on Friday, August 03, 2012 10:08 am Written by Cindy Nevitt Friday, August 03, 2012 01:00 am

In a world ruled by technology, I think I have adapted pretty well.

I am computer literate. I use my smart phone to text, check email, research cruises to the Caribbean and read online newspapers. I have mastered the remote control to the television, including the On Demand feature. I have a Twitter account, but I don’t do Facebook.

When I was a child, I knew none of this because none of it existed. Newspapers – an actual printed product – were delivered in the afternoon by a boy on a bicycle. Phones were connected to the wall. There were no answering machines or voicemail. There were no computers. If you wanted to watch another of the three network channels available at that time, you had to get up and walk across the room to turn the dial on the television set. And if you wanted to see Mark Spitz set an Olympic swimming record or Neil Armstrong walk on the moon, you stayed home and watched it live.

So all things considered, I have adapted quite nicely to a technologically advanced world.

Except for pen and paper. I still take notes the old-fashioned way, having failed to get onboard with a movement to write stories on the spot using a laptop. I still write thank you notes the old-fashioned way and mail them the old-fashioned way.

(Wait! I still write thank you notes? If that’s so, I really am older than I think am.)

It is therefore not surprising that I am a little taken aback at the idea of responding to a wedding invitation via website. The little RSVP card that must be mailed back by a specified date has gone the way of the home phone: Few people use them anymore.

I came to ruminate on this development as I attempted to RSVP to a nephew’s wedding invitation and found not a little card to be mailed back, but directions to a wedding website, to which I was granted access by using a password. Once on the site, I was asked to “Y” or “N” my intentions to attend.

Last fall, I was invited to another nephew’s wedding reception and also required to RSVP to his website. That was a few months after I received an Evite to an acquaintance’s birthday party and was required to electronically accept or decline.

I have children in their early 20s, neither of whom is close to getting married. I wonder if, when their time comes, their invitations will be sent electronically and if they will have websites devoted to every detail of their day. I wonder if I will have to visit their websites to let them know I plan to attend.

Will the day we are requested to text our responses to events and affairs soon be upon us?

Does any of this really matter – other than to etiquette mavens and me – that society has evolved to the point that we’ve lost this bit of ceremony and tradition?

Celebrations are about spending time with the people who have been invited. I realize that. How people convey their intentions to accept or decline that invitation isn’t nearly as important. I realize that, too.

But … I do miss that tiny bit of tissue paper tucked in the little envelope tucked inside the bigger envelope. Now that’s just another relic from a bygone era.

Email the author at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it